If it were possible, I was in a quite rage about Deirdre having Sheldon killed. How could anyone take the life of such a sweet, uncomplicated, loving, helpless, and damaged soul? To put a plan together and get it in motion meant that I had to accept the truth. Deirdre deeply hated me and would do anything to hurt me.After lunch, good sex and a long, hot shower, Joan and I took a nap. When we awoke it was time to talk about revenge.“Your Aunt spent considerable time meeting with a therapist during the last five years.” Joan seemed to know an awful lot about Deirdre’s private affairs. Before I could interrupt and ask why, she answered the question. “According to notes our agents were able to read, Deirdre was suffering from severe depression that was diagnosed as caused, or aided by a bipolar condition. Her depression was being treated with mediations that were described as, ‘a regimen of aggressive drugs, capable of altering her personality dramatically.’“Deirdre stopped filling her. I did so."Wow. Those are D cups, at least," she said. "That means you just wentpublic."I sighed. "I know, and I'm sorry it happened with you out of town, andI'm sorry I kept it from you."I started to put the bra back on, but Alli stopped me. "Leave it off. Iwant to look at them. So, do you start wearing women's clothes now?" See? Like I said, this isn't so simple. Yes, I'm going to be wearingwhat I like, without worrying about whether it was sold in the men's orwomen's department. Sometimes I'll wear makeup. Not much. It's just toomuch trouble, but some. Sometimes I'll wear more feminine earrings," Isaid."Dresses? Skirts?" Not for the moment. The point isn't to dress like a female. It's todress the way I want to look," I said.I couldn't believe I had said all this. "So while everybody's cool withit at work, we both know there will be others who won't be, and Iunderstand if you don't want to be associated with me," I said."I'm not afraid of what people will think. If I love you, I love.
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