I ask myself if she knows how much she means to me then I hear her voice telling me how much I mean to her and once again I’m satisfied cause I know she wants me as much as I want her. I realize its only time that has separated us and that one day soon we will be together just as I imagined it would be… nothing but smiles when I think of you, laughter and joy in our voices when we speak, our imaginations running wild while making plans to meet.I can’t sleep baby, I’m so anxious I know the time is approaching for us to be together and I can’t hardly wait, my thoughts are running wild… will she hold my hand when I reach for hers… will she hug me deeply… when I lick my lips will she become uncomfortable… how will she react to my first kiss… should I kiss her neck or should I wait… will she accept my kisses, will she let me kiss the back of her neck… will she moan if she’s turned on… when I pleasure her nipples is she going to enjoy it as much as I will… is she going to let me suck each. I cant give her the thrill of me freaking out anymore. Step-mom loves to tease me with my name, Sam. It's short for Samuel but shejust calls me Samantha now. I hate it.But, these last few days I was a boy. I enjoyed it, even though I know itwont last long. Step-mom didn't change me because dad was going to callme to see how I'm doing. I liked when he called. I can truly be myselfwhen he calls me. I want to tell him how horrible Step-mom is, but hejust tells me I'm not used to a new mom. I love my dad, but he's toodense. He quickly remarried once mom died. He said he did it for me.Thanks, dad.I did my best not to get in trouble, but Step-mom found a petty excuse topunish me. She's a stickler for etiquette. I was about to take a bite ofdinner and she saw me use the wrong fork on the dinner table. That wasenough to piss her off! She angrily sent me to bed with no dinner. Theonly thing in my stomach was the stupid pill she forced me to drinkbefore our meal.She told me to get dressed.
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