You need to go to college and get an education. I don't want you working a job just to give the money to me!”“But-”“No buts. It's okay honey. I know it's devastating but I went to another doctor and he said there is an alternative that is free.” You mother pauses and can't maintain eye contact with you. “Gosh, no… how can I possibly ask this of you, my only son, the absolute joy of my life! Oh, but I just don’t know what to do, baby! I’m so scared, and the doctor says that it will only get worse to the point that I just can’t even be cured at all.”“I'll do anything, come on mom!”Your mother grips your hands tight. “Aw, baby, I love that you want to help me in any way that you can, but I… well, you’re my own family… I’ll just tell you what the doctor said and see what you think.”“Of course!”“Okay, honey, he says that the only alternative form of “medication” is through a specific dosage of semen that is directly linked to my own DNA. And since you’re my only living blood relative.”. Hopskotch, wall flowers (a singing game with very girly dance movements). But the bullying increased in intensity and I saw the only way out as trying to conform to male gender conditioning. At grammar school, with no girls to play with, I decided to butch up. The bullying stopped. I played rugby and hated it but saw it as a way of conforming. At 12 I began to masturbate but always to the idea of dominant males. I began to believe that the only way they would even consider me as a sexual partner would be if I appeared to be female. So I started to wear my mother's clothes and soon began to love girdles and suspender belts and stockings. Best of all was her wedding dress...I saw myself as a bride to a commanding uniformed guy and this remained my ideal for years. I was quite innocent about all this until I reached an age where I began to wonder what was happening to me. I started to read the dictionary definitions. As a result I ran away from it all. forced myself to stop dressing,.
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