.. bloody fucking hell.It – they – the flowers – were from Carla...Next morning a junior nerdy looking bloke came round – white coat and everything, still looked like he was bunking off school – and told me I was free to go. Which I thought was an interesting turn of phrase – I hadn't technically been detained, for one thing, wasn't actually all that free to move even now, for another.Still, it was an opportunity to get back into the real world – and rediscover my mobile and laptop, more to the point – so I gathered what little stuff I had with me, got – painfully – dressed and finally found myself on the Euston Road, sitting on the hospital steps and wondering what to do next. So I had a fag, of course, then I phoned ... well, not Debbie – I thought she'd be too busy, perhaps – but rather May. Which is to say, I thought about just calling a cab, then realised that getting up the stairs to my flat on my own would be difficult. So I called May, explained the situation and agreed to. Amidst the clouds of hopelessness, a ray emerged.I received a mail. The mail said that I was to be interviewed for a vacant post at a law firm, that I had to report to the given address the following morning, if interested. Of course I was interested, you motherfuckers. I broke the news to Stella on the phone, and she said that she was happy for me and wished me luck. That’s it. Nothing more. I sensed the absence of enthusiasm in her voice, but chose to ignore it. I hoped things would be back the way they were once I got the job.We had sex that night. It was disgusting, half-hearted sex. No foreplay, no kissing. Just me pumping into Stella’s cunt like a beast, without a moan of appreciation. She hardly looked into my eyes. I came, and we slept. That was last night.And now it was past.Today is what matters. And today is my interview. I wake up to what could have been one of those normal mornings for us. But it isn’t. Those mornings are past. The sunlight sifts through the mesh of the.
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