I smiled at her and drifted off to sleep.From then on, Barb seemed to realize the change was more than physical. She knew it, and so did I. Before, I never had anything but heterosexual thoughts and contacts. The idea of being anything but a man never occurred to me. Now, I had touched something deep inside me. Something that went beyond the typical stereotypes of male and female. I was just human now. Someone completely sensuous. I doubted I had been brainwashed, because I didn't feel like anything had been forced onto me. I remembered everything of my past life and realized how drab and dull it was. I wondered if everyone, if placed in isolation and fed hormones and vitamins, would come to this same conclusion. I felt, actually, as if I had reached a new stage of evolution.---I was left unchained at nights. Soon I was given a blanket. Then Barb took off work to teach me how to apply makeup, and do my hair. Next came clothing. Then I was moved out of that dungeon. The pictures kept. I’m very aware of the bandages on my arms now, and the not-quite healed bullet wound in my shoulder. ‘Come here,’ he says, reaching out for me in the dim light. I let him take me by the wrist and draw me to the bed as he sits, reaching up and behind me to fumble with the clasp of my bra. ‘Want help?’ ‘I need practice,’ he grins, kissing me as he finally gets it. ‘Quick learner.’ I kiss him back and place a finger against his chest, pushing him down onto the bed. I lean over him and kiss his lips – his chin, his chest and his stomach before whispering, ‘Stay,’ and kneeling to his boots. I quickly unlace them and pull them from his feet – huh – he’s got big feet. His socks come off next, then I stand up and place one my little feet on his thigh. He unties the bows and helps me out of the Chuck Taylors before I step back and let the skirt drop. Jesus Christ I’m naked. ‘Take your pants off,’ I tell him, he smiles and stands, unbuckling his belt. He reaches for me but I step just.
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