‘So what was it you wanted to see me for, dude?’ ‘Oh, it was just some of the numbers on your worksheets don’t add up. Just wanted to let you know before you send it off to HQ and they have guts for garters. Swear you should pay me more for this kind of shit, Gary.’ ‘Ha Ha, cheers, Andy, nice one. And the envelope?’ The envelope! I had it in my left hand the entire time. Shit! ‘What? This? Oh just a contract for Rob in Sheffield, got to post on the way down to the pub, you coming?’ ‘Nah, too much to do, it’s called work, Andy, you should try it sometime. Pride in your work and all that!’ I gave him the bird as I Ieft the boardroom, allowing Dannii to proceed through the door I opened for her. She thanked me and made some remark about being so honest with the boss, which I could only smile at and make some nervous macho laugh, which only made me cringe on the inside. Over the next few weeks, I trained Dannii from the other side of the desk, not wanting to risk her clocking my huge. All you have to do is bat your eyes or wiggle your soft, round behind and you have men falling at your feet. I can’t understand why you’re wasting your time with me. There’s so many good looking guys out there.’ ‘Hey, you’re a good looking guy and you’re definitely not a waste of my time. First and foremost, a good looking guy has to be an interesting person before anyone wants to spend time with them. Most of the studly hunks out there are interminable bores because they’re so hung up on themselves. You are cute, sweet, intelligent and very considerate to the feelings of others, not to mention, terminally shy. What if I told you that I was very attracted to you? Would it do me any good to bat my eyes at you or wiggle my bottom in your direction?’ ‘Even if you did, I don’t think it would be very good for you. Like I said, I’m not very good with girls.’ ‘You’re afraid you wouldn’t be able to please me, is that it? Look, you’re pleasing me right now. If we said goodnight right now, I.
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