I have not acted well. I complain always of not working for money, so much that Linda becomes angry with me just as I do with Unkgat for his whining complaints in the hunt, and then when she tells me stop my talk I am so foolish as to use strong drink—alcohol, Linda says is name—to forget what I see as my sorrows.The alcohol is as stupid as I think when I have seen others use it for that reason, or any reason. At first it gives a little lightness, but soon all seems still worse than before and first the mind and then the body do not work well. Yet I am still more stupid and continue to drink until I can no longer stand and go unconscious.In the night I wake and must make vomit, it is a bad feeling. And my head still is not right, though I can think enough to wash my mouth with the brush Linda gives me before I return to sleep. But when at last I wake and the light is bright outside, my head hurts badly and my stomach is unhappy.Linda is patient with all, which shames me more. She. I mean my aunt was very efficient atpinning me into it and just before she did so I found out what the pacifierwas for when she said, "Here baby keep this in your mouth so you're quietwhile I do this!" I did and would have kept my eyes closed the whole timetill my aunt added, "NO, you watch me diaper you. I want you to see whatit's like being dominated like those poor women are!"It was thick. Thicker than a blanket or towel. Much thicker and even thoughit was shaped in an hour glass to reduce the bulk between my legs it stillhad plenty of bulk. Too much bulk and it was clear even if I wanted to wearsomething over it like jeans I would never be able to. It was also pinnedaround me with pink bunny rabbet tipped diaper pins. I don't know why itbothered me but those diaper pins still showed through the semi-transparentpink plastic panties she slid over my feet and legs.Those panties were as noisy as the bubble I stepped into a moment later andthe noise continued as she zipped the back to.
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