Janie has been sort of distant lately, and I thought giving her this vacation as a token of how much I loved her might pep her up. It did, until I brought up children again.I finally lost patience."Janie, if you didn't want children, why did you say you agreed to having at least two when we married? Did you change your mind? If you did, didn't you think you should have shown me the courtesy of telling me. I'm about at the end of my rope."I think my little rant scared her, because she made a little production of flushing her birth control pills.Six months went by. I suggested we be tested, but Janie wanted to give it a little more time. I agreed to ninety more days, reluctantly.Lori told us to relax."It'll happen when you least expect it. My suggestion is to keep practicing, often."Finally I had myself tested. I was fine, plenty of little swimmers and very good mobility. I was trying to figure a way to get Janie tested when Lori invited me to lunch...."I don't really understand your. I received this yesterday from a private detective I hired recently. I know this may seem crass of me, but in addition to my own selfish reasons, I knew you would want to know -- that as painful as it may be, you no longer have to live with the uncertainty." I ... I guess I couldn't expect him to keep hunting forever, especially with the note and all, still..." It has been almost four years." I know," was all she could manage. "It seems a lifetime." Has it been that bad?" No, I didn't mean it that way. It just seems like that life -- the one I had then was so long ago -- so far away." We'll talk when you're ready," soothed Coleen, holding the woman in her arms lovingly.For the next few days Sienna was quiet and pensive, coming to grips with reality that the life she had once had still existed. She might no longer wear a collar, but her life was inextricably woven around Coleen. It wasn't pain that prevented her from leaving, but doubt as to whether she could ever return to the life.
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