Was it cancer? Was it something else?Panicked, I ran to Ms Mulligan's office."Ms Mulligan there's something wrong. There's something in my chest. It'snot supposed to be there. What do I do?" I yelled."Hmm? Oh let me take a look." She pulled down my sleep gown and massagedaround my nipple where I pointed."Oh this? Did they really not explain this part of the procedure to you?"She let out a sigh, as if she was used to having to be the one to explainthis, even though it wasn't her job."This is supposed to be covered in the post-surgery review but sometimesthe doctors avoid it because it causes a commotion," she continued. "Whatyou're feeling is what we here refer to as expanders. I may as well tellyou now; you also have one in each butt cheek." I felt the blood drain frommy face."What. The. Fuck. Is an expander?" I inquired, terrified to hear what Iknew she was about to say."It's what it sounds like, unfortunately. I'm quite opposed to them but menare men and I don't get much say around. Tears of joy, tears of relief. Thank God I left when I did. Thank the fates that I had taken control of my life and walked away, not just a survivor, but a participator in my own life. None of those things made much sense to me, but I was overcome with emotion and a deep hunger to simply live.As I sat there, tears drying on my face, a lovely woman passed by. She smiled at me and nodded her head. Eagerly, starving for kindness, I returned the nod and felt a great smile break across my face. She walked away, her swimsuit hugging her curves, her long blonde hair billowing out behind her.I returned to my musings, wishing not for food, but for a pad of paper and a pencil so I could jot down my thoughts. I was completely lost in myself when the woman returned. She startled me with a soft tap on the shoulder and I jerked as I looked up at her. She wore that same sweet smile and held out her hand."Come on little one. Come join my husband and I. We're a lonely old couple and could use a bit.
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