”“Are you OK?”“No.”“Oh?”“I just want to be with you, Joe,” she says.“That’s nice,” I reply smiling.“It’s just that ... Well, it’s so hard to separate myself from it all. I should be able to turn my back on them, push them out of my mind. But, I always feel I am tearing myself away from them. And the ‘tearing’ is so painful. There is still part of me, inside, which does not want to make the break.”There’s a heavy lump of anxiety and disappointment in my stomach as she says this. There is a lot I could say. There are questions I should ask. I don’t, though. I think it best to keep my mouth shut. I do not trust myself to get this sort of conversation right. Instead, I try a different sort of communication: I take her hand and squeeze it. I must have done the right thing because she turns to me and smiles and pulls herself close to me. In that moment, I feel we have got out from under the cloud that the American, Tracy — or whatever her name was — has thrown over us.We are passing a. "This is why I avoid all this crap."I chuckled as she put her heels back on.A few minutes later we were being seated at a fairly nice restaurant. We both ordered and I had to stop Whisper from fidgeting so much."Can I at least take the jacket off?"I nodded and did the same. When I looked at Whisper again I was stunned. The darker clothes she had been wearing, even the dark color of the suit jacket had made her look so pale, like a ghost. Now, in the white blouse, she seemed almost translucent. I couldn't actually see her bones or blood or anything, but she looked like she could fade away.Whisper noticed me staring at her. She sighed, "Ral. Snap out of it. This is why I wear dark colors. Lighter ones make me look worse." So this is what you really look like?" I asked gently.She nodded. "I thought about changing my appearance for meeting you but then remembered what I had already said about trusting you. I can't show trust in you if I'm not at least a little bit honest with you." Thank.
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