Steve smiled and offered his arm, ‘Erica, shall we go to dinner?’ Erica returned the smile and hooked her arm into his ‘Let’s.’ The couple started for the lobby doors when Steve suggested ‘I saw this little cantina about a block from here. According to a couple of waiters I talked to, it’s a place that is frequented by the locals and has some terrific food. Shall we try it?’ ‘Sounds perfect to me. Lead the way, sir’ The cantina was right where the waiters said it would be. Stepping in the door, they were greeted by the wonderful aromas coming from the kitchen. It wasn’t a very large place, perhaps a dozen tables in the main room and they could see that there was a patio out back with maybe another three or four tables. A woman appeared from the kitchen. ‘Si, Senor?’ ‘Mesa para dos’ Steve stated with confidence. While a lot of the employee’s at the hotel were bi-lingual and English was accepted, he figured that he would need to pick up a few key phrases in Spanish should he decide to. This wasn't some macho breakdown you understand? I was comfortable enough with my sexuality and didn't suddenly think being facially feminised would reduce me as a man. Nope. This was pure and simple "I look like a fucking freak and I know I'll never look sexy as a fem...." and on the tail of that the most stupidly, ridiculous, self loathing addendum..."And it's MY FAULT!" I removed the make up smearing the remains over a towel, tears still running from my eyes and went out the bathroom to find two alarmed and genuinely concerned ladies asking if I was okay...it's what's said in this kind of situation even if the person concerned is plainly not ok. It's a human thing I guess. And being vaguely human myself I said I was and made up some kind of excuse that I can't even remember now...but I do remember what one of the women said to me. I've never forgotten it. "It's okay love. Some people get taken like that. We've seen it before." I know I should have taken comfort from the fact that.
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