She begged me to let her in.I was standing bare foot on a cold concrete patio wearing just my pants.I was living alone in that big house since my wife died three years before.A single person living out in the country needs to be very careful about who they let in their house.Was she alone ?Did she have a gun or knife ?Was it smart to let this person in my house ?I could not turn her away but I needed to be careful about this.I told her I would open the garage door she was leaning against, she was to come in the garage. I would turn on the lights in the garages and close the door. Then I would let her in the house.The switches for the garage doors are in the hall near the door from the house to the garages.After she was in the garage I opened the door and kept the security door between her and me locked.I told her to come over to the inside door and turn all the way around so I could see that she was not armed with any sort of weapon.She looked as if she had been beaten bad by those. The glance seems in essence to say, ‘Thank you for trying.’ It is brief before the cat forgets entirely what’s been going on and goes to play with a ratty bit of shoelace tied to a drinking straw. Today is a day for writing. I grab a pad and jot down ideas in my room, ignoring the horrible odor emanating from the other room around mid-afternoon. He burns one too often for my or anybody’s taste. He claims it mellows him. It doesn’t, he’s made worse because of the paranoia. I can’t think with the smell and when blocked I reach for a book from one of my disorganized stacks. I gave up buying shelves when I was 18. I have two, loaded to capacity, some of the shelves buckling under the weight. Paperbacks are jumbled with hardbacks, inexpensive and expensive volumes mix together in untidy heaps. Condition matters little to me in my organization. New books are stacked with the poorly bound and rotting ones. Today I’m writing sci-fi, so I pick a Richard Matheson book from the pile and flip.
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