They're easy to spot because they only dance with women or obviously gay men. Sex with them would be... not humiliating enough I guess.Tonight, for the first time in my adult life, I know that I'm not on top. As I'm sitting in the swanky restaurant eating coq au vin with my coworker, I'm watching Carlo crawl up from under the table to sit beside the woman who is on top. She looks to be about 35-40. She's very elegantly dressed. She makes my feeble attempt at dressing elegantly look incredibly pathetic. She's also beautiful. Don't get me wrong, she's not nearly as beautiful as me, and that's not even adjusting for age, but as I said, she's got that je ne sais quoi that puts me in my place as surely as Carlo did at the wedding. What surprises me is the attraction I feel to being beneath her.I won't name the restaurant -- I owe that to both of them -- but it's one of the finer French places in town. The lighting is very low and I'm sure he can't see me, because our table candle is much. Looking back now I could say I did it because I loved her and I think she loved me at least as brother and sister.As we got older not a lot changed. She would still climb in my bed whenever she was scared. We would watch a horror movie and I knew she would be there next to me that night.When she turned ten, I told her she was now too old to sleep with me. I was afraid of waking up with a woody in the morning. I was sixteen and wasn't about to try to explain it to her. We did still cuddle on the couch and watch movies together. I don't really know how to explain it, but the less I saw of her the more I missed her.She started to develop sexually and I began to notice. I knew it was probably wrong to look at my sister like that so I kept it to myself. The last thing I would ever want to do is scare her and make her afraid of me. She was my best friend but I just couldn't tell her how much I cared for her. We shared just about everything else but I was six years older than her and I.
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