I squealed. "I thought you were vanilla. All the girls..." "I'm just trying to find the perfect play mate for my games." "So you're..." "You can say it." "A sadist?" He laughed. "Real or fake?" I asked. I only liked the real kind, even though that was a contradiction. "How much proof do you want?" Think carefully about it. He finger fucked me. He pressed his body into mine. He had a nice body. "Come here." He marched me to his room, his fingers forming a bruise on my arm. "I'd advise you not to beg," he said, just making conversation, "if you want less pain that is. Do it if you want more." He opened his closet drawer. I didn't look at his hands. He dropped his boxers. He stood like a glorious vision. "This too is a lie." I could see his eyes then, really see the look that had come into them. It was ugliness, right from the tarpits. I gasped. I had found a specimen of value. I didn't want to disturb the nesting. He slapped me so hard I lost my breath. Then he was on me. He. The deeper satisfaction I really needed wasn’t there. I talked with some of the happier older women to figure it out. They helped me understand that I was really looking for a total experiences, not just physical.“One woman, who everyone addressed as ‘Mother’ because she was the matriarch of the group, led discussions with other women who were seeking answers like I was. Her life partner, ‘Father’, did the same for men. When she figured I had achieved enough understanding, she invited me to their bed and the two of them showed me what good, loving sex was really like. I was introduced to men in the commune who were compatible with my personality, needs, and spiritual development, and my life blossomed in all the important areas. Besides the infrequent loving from Father, because he was in great demand, I had several men to share my bed and body. Sometimes more than one at a time too. Women were welcomed as well, but I still prefer being filled by a man.“My life there wasn’t just good.
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