Such a simple word. But a word with resonance and utmost meaning to me. She knows. This woman whom I'd never met until yesterday knows. She knows.I frowned as I searched for the emotion in her eyes that I expected. That look - a mixture of surprise and then distaste. Shawna's look. That look she had given me when I had revealed - confessed my innermost wants and desires. You want the reason why we broke up? There you go. "Spanking? But why?" I could still hear those words. It took a lot to shock Shawna. Shocked didn't begin to cover it. You could add aghast, unsure, disappointed and wary to the list. Her idea of perfection wasn't so perfect after all. "I don't think - I don't know if I want to do that..if I want you to do that to me Joe." she had said in a way that had me cursing my own soul. I was helpless as I watched her slipping away from me as she had the sudden realisation I wasn't the man she thought I was.Time had passed as it always does but even though our friendship. Some of the firefighters watched TV while I went upstairsto the bunking area to get my books and study. Since the showers wereempty later, I took a shower noticing how my body was changing further.All I could do was come close to tears seeing my manliness disappear tobe replaced by womanhood. I dried off, put on my sweat suit and went tomy bed to read. If there was a call tonight I was ready. I managed toread for several hours until I fell asleep. The next thing I knew it wasmorning.I stripped and made the bunk for the next shift going downstairs to getcoffee and bakery goods. After a quick cleaning of the firehouse we wereready to leave when the next shift came in at seven o'clock.Our shift was released after the next shift arrived and I hurried to mySUV. Chapter FiveOnce on the street I headed directly to Doctor Sims' office on my dayoff. I had an appointment that I had to keep. Traffic was light as Imade my way to the office. In minutes I was parking and walked insidethe building..
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