Up until now they had been short and a bit scrawny, with their mother’s round face and upturned nose, but my family’s straight hair. Now, while they were still short, they were filling out, and weren’t all that scrawny anymore. In fact, they were growing breasts and their hips were getting broader. Worst of all, I was not the only male noticing. Their brother Charlie tended to tease them mercilessly, occasioning head slaps from the parental unit nearest him when we caught him. That wasn’t the bad part. The bad part was that other males were noticing, males who were not interested in teasing them. Even the daughters of billionaire Congressman can get bra straps snapped and requests for ‘dates.’Neither their mother nor their father went along with any of this nonsense, but only I had to suffer their wrath. Marilyn escaped most of it. It just wasn’t fair.I had gone through this once before, with Maggie. (Alison, with her Williams Syndrome, had been nowhere near as nutty.) I had thought. Then the man got out a bottle of Channel perfume from his pocket and started spraying scent over the envelopes.By now Mike’s curiosity had got the better of him, and so I asked the man why he was sending all those cards. The man replied, “I’m sending out 500 Valentine cards signed, ‘Guess who?’”“But why?” asked Mike.“I’m a divorce lawyer,” the man replied.Gardener in LoveQ: What happened when the man fell in love with his garden?A: It made him wed his plants!Lights Out to Leave“You came home early from your date,” John observed to his roommate. “What happened?”“Well,” said the flat-mate, “after dinner she invited me up to her flat. We had a couple of drinks and she put on some soft music. Then she reached over and turned out the lights.”“So, what next?” asked John, eyebrows raised.“I can take a hint,” said his flat-mate. “I came home.”Valentine’s Day GenieAN OLDER WOMAN runs into her friend at the mall. “You’re not going to believe this,” she said. “I found an old lamp the other day..
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