‘I still have a hard time believing she actually wants me, I know I wouldn’t…’ Janie had smiled at that. ‘Wait till you have kids, then you will be sure that you wouldn’t…’ Now he looked at Keni and knew her mom was right, he wouldn’t want his daughter around a man like him. Having Kimber for the time they had, he had seen it even more. That little girl had crawled her way into his heart the same way Keni had and now he wanted to experience the same things that Scooter and Dean had. But not yet, not till this was settled, and there was more to consider, him and Keni needed a place of their own, a place for them to call home. She would probably be happy anyplace he was, but he wanted to give her a home like this one. He wanted to give her the world really, but he was well aware that it might never happen. Not from lack of desire, but from time. A knock on the door caused Keni to pull up the sheet and sit up as she called for them to come in. John came in and looked at them with a. I’d talked to the nurse briefly and she said they were doing their best to keep Charlie from slipping into a coma. My thoughts were a chaotic jumble. How did I feel about Charlie? I loved him. I hated him … not so much him but what he had done to himself and to Carla and me. He was an alcoholic — there was no getting around that. Intellectually I knew alcoholism was a disease but emotionally it felt to me like we weren’t important enough for him to stop drinking. I hated what he had done with that woman. Did I want revenge on him? No, I really didn’t see myself doing that. Sure, I have the same needs and urges of any healthy woman. Carla was too important to me — I had this scenario that would go through my head when some man would make a pass at me. It’s like what my mom told me when I was a girl: ‘If you are going to do anything you aren’t really sure of, stop and think if you would do it if Jesus were watching.’ For me, it was how would I feel and would I do it if Carla were.
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