I felt tired and old. The Mistress' games did not amuse me. It was notthe punishment I dreaded; that I suspected would come no matter what Idid or didn't do. The pain of the punishments no longer frightened me,for though I did not relish them, enduring them brought a certainsatisfaction to my lips. Even the humiliation did not bother me as muchas it used to, though I was always astonished by how shameful I felt,especially for a trivial offense. It wasn't even the unfairness of theLady that frustrated me, because I was accustomed to such treatment fromthe ruling class. No, what bothered me the most about the Mistress was that while inreality I had no control over my fate, she made it seem as though I did.She never punished without cause; even if the reasoning was absurd orridiculous, there was always a justification for your punishment. Ineffect, it was not the Mistress who was punishing you, it was yourself,by your own actions, that asked for and received the just reward. If. "Well that's different Mom," I protested. "I may still do that from timeto time but here is a fresh start for me and I don't want a reputationpreceding me." I can appreciate that but it wouldn't hurt you to go and have a goodtime!" she snapped. "George went through a lot of trouble to get thisticket. He is trying to accept you as my daughter. The least you canshow some appreciation Elizabeth" I do appreciate the thought Mom. I will gladly pay for the ticket," Ioffered up. "I am just not sure I am ready for that yet, besides I don'thave anything to wear to something like that." Elizabeth you cannot spend all your nights alone and as for somethingto wear? Well guess we just have to go shopping." You are not going to take no for an answer, are you?" I sighed."No I am not," she smiled. "Now get dressed so we can head to the malland find you a dress." Yes Mother."She left to get dressed, closing my bedroom door as she left. I pulledon some jeans and a button front blouse and headed to the.
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