Large brownstone buildings which looked imposing on the eighty-acre campus. At the center of the campus, near the faculty offices, was the Men’s Center. A counseling service which was free to all students. Male college students had an alarmingly high rate of depression and suicide. That’s why Graystone University created the Men’s Center, to reach out to them. Harold showed me the Athletics Department. A large, steel-gray building that easily dwarfed all of the other buildings on campus. We went inside, and I was amazed. The place was something else. Massive, bright, and totally state-of-the-art. It housed the Basketball Courts, which doubled up as Wrestling Mats, the Indoor Track Courts and also the Swimming Pool. Outside, there was the Football Field, a massive complex designed to seat at least twenty thousand people. Harold told me all about the sports programs. Goodson College was an athletic powerhouse which not even Kansas State University could touch. We have Men’s. “Look, friend, no one knows where Zapo-whatever or Zippy-dee-doo-da is. No one out there has heard of it and I sure as hell can’t pronounce it.” Vasily grimaced like a fly had landed on his nose. “Let’s just keep it simple, okay?” Johnny coached, “I go out and introduce you from wherever… it doesn’t really matter where, to be honest. They ain’t gonna get on their phones to Google it. You come out, you strip, you grind your loins in their faces, you get some wet panties thrown at you, then exit with most of your pride intact if possible. Boom-boom-boom... Yeah?” Staring over Johnny's gel-slathered hairline, Vasily, for all intents and purposes, was a statue. He didn’t like the guy, the way he talked faster than his flubbery lips and cheeks seemed capable of doing, but that was not his concern at the moment. He was more concerned with the thong he wore wedged between his crack, organically wiedling its way into his orifice. Any deeper and a proctologist would have to be called for.
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