It's a nice feeling to have and it is an amazing thing to see, inspiring even, but I often worry that I am hurting her in the same way that he hurt me.I try to eradicate him from my thoughts, I really do, but it is not easy and I feel like a terrible, inadequate person because I have not found the strength to accomplish it. Especially as it complicates certain aspects of my relationship with Darci, like sex, for example. There have been times where it is not her I think of and it is not her name that I wish to call out. This has caused me to become more careful during our love making, and I have grown increasingly anxious when all I desperately want to do is let go and enjoy myself. I keep going back and forth with the thinking that I should let him go somehow and give my all to Darci. It is what she deserves given everything that she has done for me, after all. But in truth, I do not want to. I want to have him in my life, even if it is in small patches now. I still can not find a. Let me describe her to you. Jennifer was a tall, thin redhead with ling curly hair and very pale skin. She was about 17 or so. She worked at the local video store and ever since I first saw her I knew I had to rape her. She looked too good not to. When ever I went in to rent a movie I could help but imagine her struggling, pinned to the bed impaled on my cock. She of course had no idea the little porno that ran through my mind and just thought me another nice customer that liked to chat it up with her at the counter. I knew from my research that she was single and a devout catholic. How perfect.I took out my digital camera and snapped a few shots of her lying there in her bed. How much I just wanted to tear off all her clothing and brutally fuck her sleeping form. But I held off. I wanted to enjoy her and I didn't want her to know what had happened until it was too late. I removed all of my clothing and lay it in a pile.I lay her in her back and took some additional shots. I then.
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