(Even though I knew the worst that could happen would be that she wouldn’t help me, I still felt nervous.) ‘Her name is Aurora,’ I said, ‘and she’s turned into a beautiful young woman. She had a crush on you in high school.’ ‘On me? That’s interesting, I was certainly not a ‘sexy teacher’ type,’ she said. ‘Knowing she had a crush doesn’t upset you?’ ‘Well, people have attractions. Why should I fault them for something they can’t control? I do find it a bit flattering: if she knew me as her teacher only, she must have been drawn to me for who I was and not what I looked like.’ ‘Would you like to help me excite and please her?’ I mastered my nerves and kept my voice calm as I asked. There was a pause. It was probably just a second or so, but to me, it felt as though it was minutes on end. ‘I do not cheat,’ she said at last. ‘I must discuss this with my partner before I answer.’ ‘I respect that, Margot,’ I told her honestly. ‘In that case, please let me add something to my offer, which. The thoughtof the hundredth girl he slept only made feel even worse about being a21 year old virgin. The growing humiliation with each passing year wasbecoming like an anchor around my neck sinking me into the depths ofdepression. Still my humiliation excited me. I also knew that unless Idid it with a girl just out of high school, the girl would know of myinexperience, and that too filled me with strange feelings of sexualbliss. I wasn't sure why thoughts of my sexual anguish made me aroused.I was disgusted with my self, but that only made me more excited. Myconfusion at that moment was palpable. About an hour after they entered the bedroom, Danielle came out of theroom. She looked a little disheveled and pleased. The words goodbye cameto me from those perfect lips that I would never kiss. I said goodbye toher, like I had to any chance I ever had to be with her when she foundout my secret. Now, I was left pinning for a woman I never had. I hardly ever knew Ihad a shot, but I knew I.
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