On the day I threw Monica her birthday party, my two childhood best friends, Jimmy and Ryan, came over to hang out. On their way into the house, they made some very crude and inappropriate jokes before seeing Monica sitting there. It was partly my fault, as they had not known the story. But I wanted to be clear that none of that sort of stuff would be tolerated. The one success I had during this time period was that I was able to kick the drugs. I quit meth and cocaine very shortly after Monica arrived and haven't touched them since. But my bedroom was still a place I associated with sin, booze, and wild sex. In the event that I ever be tempted to go back to the hard life, I wanted to make sure that Monica never saw the inside of that room. It became somewhat of a sanctuary. Over the next few years, I watched Monica grow from a sweet young girl to a beautiful young woman. As a single father, I dreaded the day when she would have her first period. How would I handle that as a man? So. What if he goes to the police? I'm 18, you're underage! I'd go to jail! What the fuck is going on, Lisa, you go do whatever he says. Get those fucking tapes!"I still couldn't even speak. The rest of that day was hard for us, it was also the first time that we didn't have sex. He left, and I just sat on my bed. I looked out the window, and up on the second floor of the next house over I could see a video camera just sitting there pointing at me. I laid down and cried.That night I went out to the fence. I heard a whisper over by one corner of it. It was in the corner and also covered by some bushes, but there was still enough room between the bushes and the fence for me to fit. There was a hole in the fence, and if I squatted down it was right around eye level. I heard the whisper again, and saw a finger poking through the hole."Hey. You're Lisa, right?" Yes. What do you want?" my voice was so shaky"You don't want those videos out, here's what you have to do. You're going to suck me.
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