I fell down to the ground to protect myself. The physicalpain lasted only a minute or two. The emotional pain lasted a lifetime.In high school my senior class voted as to who was the best looking.Although I tried to hide what I was at the time I came in third in thevoting for girls behind two effeminate boys.Although I knew about the other boy I though back then that I was the onlyone like me and no one else had these thought that this boy shell shouldhave been a girl's. In fact at that age I was sent to psychiatrists becauseI was unhappy and uncommunitive. But I couldn't discuss how I felt withthese shrinks even though I went for a long time.As a teen I occasionally dressed in female clothes, sometimes gettingsexually excited, but the reasoning for me doing it was because I wishedthose clothes were normal for me, so the main reason some guy would look atme would be because I was a pretty girl.The nation's transsexual laws are varied. At one job I had I was able todress properly, but. Their gang boss had just been acquitted (again) on a serious assault and battery charge, from beating a rival gang member into a permanent coma, and they were kicking up their heels and getting back down to business.For the most part they left me alone whenever I entered the property. I showed no interest in them and they apparently had been told that I had a right to be there on the ranch, and they mostly left me alone to do my job. I've never spent much time in the city and know nothing about illegal drug manufacturing, but it was pretty obvious that they were cooking up something there in one of the barns. There was always a bad smell in the air near that barn and the gang made sure that I stayed well away from it.More importantly for me, it was calving season and for the next few weeks I was going to be as busy as I could handle, spending parts of each day, and some nights, on each of my management ranches and handling my own stock. I didn't realize until much too late that I had.
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