In class I daydreamed of being just an ordinary kid. My daydreams were usually interrupted when one nun or another called on me to answer. Proving how dumb I was, I always answered and almost always answered correctly. This was not the way to sink into blissful mediocrity. I thought about purposefully getting answers wrong, but when my name was called my Pavlovian little brain insisted on spitting out the right ones.The one answer I couldn't figure out was how to escape my role as the geek of the class. Then, one morning, the glimmer of an answer appeared.It started when Eddie -- the first-baseman -- and I were serving 6 a.m. Mass. It was a cozy affair, three old ladies, one snoozing bum, Fr. Pascalitis and us, all alone in a church the size of a zeppelin hangar. You don't know what early morning is until you've spent one trying to prop your eyes open in a barn filled with the scent of decades-old incense while some guy's snores are turned into the drone of a Sopwith Camel by the. Aur hum dono meri saali ke room main jaake baaten karne lage. Maine baaton baaton main hi ussee pucha ki kya aapka sex karne ka man nahi karta kya, woh boli nahi man to karta hai lekin majbur hun, kisi se kah nahi sakti. To maine kaha aap mujhse kah sakti hain, usne kaha aap to meri behan ke husband hain aap kaise meri madad kar sakte hain. Maine kaha jaisi hep aapko chahiye woh main karunga, aap sirf kah ke dekhiye. Usne kaha thik hai to kya aap meri itne dinon ke pyaar ki kaami ko pura kar sakte hain, maine kaha kyon nahi. Usne kaha thik hai. Maine socha ki baat kuch ban raha hai. Main uske kareeb aak baith gaya to woh boli aap yahan kyon aa gaye, maine kaha aapke pyaar ki kami dur karne. Maine uska haath pakad liya aur chumna laga, woh boli. Plz aisa mat karo. Maine uski ek baat bhi nahi suni aur usko chumta raha, woh bhi garam hone lagi thi. Main uske gale pe kiss karne laga aur apna ek haath uski salwar ke andar daal diya to woh sihar uthi. Woh kanpne lagi. Maine uske boobs ko.
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