She knew I was torn. She knew I loved Becky. She knew Becky loved me. The only hope I had in the world right now was she had also said, “I’ll be here when you’re ready to talk about it.”I lay on my bed listening to Q102. I was rehashing in my mind what I had put on three pages in the journal. What did I want? Did I really want Birgit? Could I honestly examine that relationship and say that it was not to be? No, I didn’t think I could. Despite my connection with Jennifer, despite all that entailed, if Birgit were here right now, I’d end everything else. For her, I could do that.But what did that say about the situation with Jennifer? The more I thought about it the more I came to a conclusion that Jennifer was right. I had entered into the relationship with Birgit with my eyes wide open. With neither of us being anything but honest, open, and forthright at the time we made love. With no preconceived notions. No attempts on either of our parts to deceive. It was pure, it was. We went up to Emma's and my room for a drink after dinner. William sat between me and his mother and I could hear him complain about living in this big city. He would rather live and work in a small town, more or less the way we lived. If only he knew! I thought nothing of it. Most people have dreams about living somewhere else then at the place where they actually live.Elizabeth asked him if he was still considering the job offer he had mentioned in his earlier phone call. He replied that the position was still open but that he wasn't sure how it would work out with us all living so close to each other. We all assured him that we would love to have him and Anne as neighbors but due to the excitement I think Elizabeth forgot all about her little task and I didn't want to force her to think that she must do it just now. I saw however that there was something going on between brother and sister. I quiet little flirt!The next day I managed to sneak away for a while and I prowled the city.
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