.." I quickly responded to her statement without stop sketching her, "Why do you say that?" There was a long pause and I looked up at her, her eyes were looking down as if she was deep in thought, "I think she would assume I was seducing you." I laughed and stopped drawing for a second, "You are seducing me..." My sister giggled and changed her position to something very specific as if she already had it on deck. "Do you not want me to?" I started to tease her a little more knowing she was opening up. "No no I want you to...I just wish you could do more sometimes." My sisters voice changed and became more stern, "What? Fucking you wasn't enough?" I quickly started to backpedal in my brain and my confidence quickly left my body lol. "I wish I could have done that sooner, I wanted that more than anything and still do..." She smiles and tells me to get back to my drawing, I drop my head and go back to work on the new pose. "Did you know you sleep like a rock?" I picked up my head and was. We rested after that, still tangled in each other’s arms.Before we drifted off to sleep I found the nerve to ask him, “Why didn’t you get jealous when you saw me with two other guys?”“I adore you for how brazen and wild you are,” he mused. “If I attempted to change that, I’d change you. Don’t fuck with perfection.”“You don’t care?”“I care about you and your happiness. If you want to be wild, then be wild. I’ll be right alongside you, egging you on,” he chuckled.Something inside of me shifted, or my perspective changed. It was subtle, but I finally began to understand what I was feeling, why I was feeling that way, and most especially that my actions over the past weeks were me trying to fool myself. I can’t say that I was proud of myself, my feelings, or my actions.By the time morning came the entire camp was buzzing with the coming duel. I was awake before either of them, haunted by nightmares of the heart. I smelled cooking smells and followed them to the cafeteria tent and.
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