"I just stood there staring at my cousin John with my mouth open."That's right Dean. It is me."Finally able to use my mouth I asked, "What happened?" Last April mom caught me in a pair of her panties whacking myself. After trying to lie myself out of my predicament. I told her the truth, that I always wanted to be a girl and that someday I wanted to be one."Turning to my aunt I said, "So you then forced John to start wearing girl clothes then." No, not right away. I was mad at first, but the more I thought it over the more I looked into it the better I felt. I finally realized that a Joannie was stuck in John's body. I could help Joannie to come out or try to force John to stay. I decided on helping Joannie."Turning back to Joannie. "What about this camp you went too, or was that something that was made up." I went to camp. It is a special camp for young people like me who are confused about their sexual identity. Both boys and girls attend the camp." What about me? I am supposed to. No woman would want me and no man can deal with you. We have too much baggage to ever be normal but why not be abnormal together? This is our chance for something special so why not take the chance?’ He let go of her when she stayed past him. ‘Say something. Say anything.’ ‘What do you want me to say? I have nothing to say,’ she said finally looking at him. ‘I don’t love you. Okay? Is that what you want to hear? I don’t love you.’ She looked at him with cold, distant eyes. She looked at him as if he was looking at a stranger. He did it now. Just as he had turned on her switch to have sex with him, he had turned off her switch by telling her that he loved her. How could he be so stupid not to know her reaction. If he were in field and she was some middle eastern woman, he would have summed her up with a look and at a glance. Yet, back home and a stranger in his own country, already making a big mistake, he had made the wrong move by telling her that he loved her. ‘I’m tired of living.
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