"Nothing really. I just think we should consider a separation, that's all!" It was a devastating blow to hear Kelly confirming my worst fears."Why?" I could hardly get the word out."Why? You're asking me why!" There was an incredulous tone to her voice.I had my head in my hands. "No, Kelly, no! We don't have to separate. I love you, Kelly! You must know that I love you." I was desperately trying not to break down."You love me, Ben, do you? So why do you encourage me to fuck Carl all the time?" The emphasis on the word 'fuck' could not have been stronger. She was really putting the knife in. And then she twisted it! "But at least he does want to fuck me, and not just watch someone else doing it!"Her remark was mortifying but it was no more than I deserved. I chose to ignore it. "Is it Carl? Are you in love with him?" I might have been, Ben. I was certainly very fond of him." There was a momentary wistful look and then her demeanour altered, as if she had made up her mind about. ’ He looked at the inside of his forearm again–still feeling the pain. He didn’t think he’d been changed but found himself beginning to wonder if he had been without his knowing. Unthinkingly, his hand went to his neck as he felt for the telltale bite marks. He wanted to ask her if she wanted to go the wedding but didn’t know if he should. ‘When I saw you last–you said you wanted to become one of them. Do you still feel the same way,’ he asked. ‘No way–I wouldn’t want my soul ripped out of me and tossed in some dumpster–like a piece-a-shit. I only said those things because I was afraid of Alexis and the rest of em.’ Hearing what she said and her choice of words made him slump and sigh. He felt he’d lost an ally in her. She really made him believe she wanted to become a vampire… ‘Of course I do silly,’ she said poking him in the ribs adding, ‘You foreigners don’t know what to think about American girls do you,’ she laughed. ‘I guess not Kitty.’ They were leaning against a building.
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