I noticed that the vodka was almost gone so I opened a new bottle and then I went and checked on all the chip and dip dishes and made sure that they were full and then I went back to my den. Early on Kath and I had decided that we didn't want children, a good decision as now there wouldn't be any custody battles, but even though we wouldn't have a family we still wanted a big house. We looked for something with acreage so we could have privacy. We found a four-bedroom ranch on six acres and snatched it up. Kathleen took one bedroom for her home office and I took one for my den.I went into my den and walked over to the clothes closet that I had turned into a mini storeroom and where I had put my gun safe. I opened the safe and then stood back and contemplated. The 1911A1 and the 92F would be overkill. They would inspire more fear, but they would make more noise in a small room than what I wanted. I settled on a .22 caliber target pistol, made sure that it had a full clip, and went. Out of a real daughter who would be his little girl to protect from the world and to love and to hold…No.It was me who wanted these things. These people. This family.I was losing these things.We sat to each other silently; me with horror painted on my face, and him, looking into the air and thinking God-knows-what about me….“Ben.”“Y-yes sir?”“It’s alright.”His voice was still far-off, and he was looking into space as if something beautiful was there in the distance.I looked too, and for a moment, I thought I saw it.We were looking at the future.It was unspeakably radiant and beautiful, like a warm rain on a sunny day, scattering diamonds across the planet.It moved slowly and gracefully like a comet tracing pleasing arcs across the sky.Yeah.As that light reflected back to us,I saw my future.“A man should follow his heart. That’s what separates us humans from pigs and dogs. We can’t help but to love our own kind, whether it’s a man or woman or a mystery.”He smiled a little at his own.
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