Instead you force yourself to think of the hot shower and bottle of Italian red waiting to offer you a modicum of comfort and consolation. Ascending from the tube, your sensible heels click on the pavement as the cold night air assaults you, jolting you from your reverie and firmly urging you to walk faster. As you pick up the pace, thoughts turning back to the warm water about to wash away the week and drive out the chill slowly invading your bones, the sound of an incoming text stops you in your tracks. Suddenly your heart is racing as you reach inside your bag for the phone, fingers fumbling to unlock it and open the message. The text simply reads, “I want you”. A huge, uncontrollable grin spreads across your face and you start to practically run home while attempting to respond. “I will be there in an hour” is all you manage, balancing your overwhelming desire to see him with as strong a need to be at your best. Booking a cab to pick you up in forty-five minutes is accomplished. I leaned up against the door, big and stainless and bolted and alarmed so that the lights blinked at me. Safe, they said, green and white, blinking. Buzz all you want, the lights said, you can't come in, and I looked and listened, and leaned against the door holding my gun and naked in my sheet."BUZZZZZZZ..." What?" my voice was soft and dry, cracking. I had my face against the intercom, eyes closed. Just breathing."Sister?" It was a boy's voice, a child's voice, soft and wondering and afraid of doing what it was doing. But more afraid not to. "Father Lyons sent me. I ... I have a letter. Some money too." Julius?" I didn't mean to say it aloud, but the boy didn't answer anyway. I probably hadn't pressed the speak button.I opened the door, pushed the buttons so the lights turned red and I wasn't safe, not anymore. The whole world could come in if it wanted, if this boy were lying. I was too tired, too wrapped up and still in my bed to care. The whole world would have been a fitting.
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