As I lay sprawled on the floor, I slowly became aware that I could hear a voice. Lisa was calling me from the bedroom, saying "Johnny, are you in there? Johnny, who's making all that noise." I didn't know what to do. How could I face her? Was I even her husband anymore, now that I looked like a fourteen-year-old girl? How could I go out there and talk to her, looking the way I did now? I couldn't answer any of these questions, but I knew I'd have to leave the bathroom sometime. I couldn't stay in here masturbating for the rest of my life (attractive as the thought may have been.) Taking a deep breath, I opened the door and stepped back out into the bedroom. When she saw me walk into the room, Lisa's face turned white. But she didn't faint this time. "Lisa, it's me. I don't know what happened..." "Oh my god, Johnny, how did this happen? What's going on?!?" She half-screamed. She was starting to get frantic. I sat her down and told her the whole story, or at least as much as. Marie has been bugging me for a new washer and dryer, and that’ll get her off my back. Plus, I’ll have enough left over for a big screen tv that I’ve been looking at.”I sat and stared at John in disbelief for a minute. “Ok, fine, you bring a bunch of coastal crazies up here. Then run them ragged through the hills. Get a big payday, clean clothes, a happy wife, and Monday night football. But why me? Where do I fit into this? What do I get out of this deal?”“Well, I was hoping that you could help me out by providing a little atmosphere to the trip.”“Whoa, hold up John, I can tell you right now, I’m not getting dressed up in some monkey suit and start running through the woods.”“No, No, No, that’s not what I mean. I want you to be the tracker. I’ll be the guide. You’ll be the expert tracker.”“And track what? There isn’t anything to track. You have a better chance of finding Casper the ghost, as finding bigfoot.”“I know that. It’s like you said. I bring them up here. We run them around.
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