I wanted so badly to be able to go home to Loon Lake to be with my parents. I wanted to be able to help them through this time in any way that I could. I also needed them around me more than I ever had before. I wanted them to be able to see their first grandchild and maybe feel just a little bit of joy in that. However, money was in very short supply. There was no way that I could afford the ticket back east and I knew that my parents, who had never left the state of Vermont during my lifetime, would not be traveling out to see me. All that I could do was to carry on the best that I could. I prayed every waking hour that The Lord would keep Jack safe and bring him home to me. I had a baby to care for and I put all of my energies into doing everything that I could to be the best mother possible. The colic had persisted for five long months and I still seemed to be helpless to do anything for her. I wasn’t sleeping at night for more than two hours at any one stretch and I was really. I loved Lynn and could see himself living with her. I was not sure about marriage, but being in a lifetime, committed relationship was a real probability. Now here was this other tremendously sexy woman and I found myself in love with her too.“Damn, I am so conflicted. I really have strong feelings for you and Lynn. I am afraid of doing the wrong thing and losing both of you.”“Strong feelings? That is not what I heard.” Erin sounded a bit harsh.“Ok! I know I used the L word and I really meant it. But now as I think about it, the whole idea of loving two women just seems so far out of my experience that I don’t know what to do or how to do it. Or, hell, even how to express my thoughts about it!”“Paul, Lynn and I have had some serious heart to hearts about you. We have both come to the realization that we both love you. But we also love each other as well. I mean, you saw us together. I would hope that you could see that it was a lot more than just sex.”“Yeah it was. I have never.
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