Don't worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to get size 10 hips into size 4 panties. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things like never crossing your delicate legs, the kind that make that horny guy in your 4 PM Tuesday Bio lab gawk.Do one thing every day that scares your best friend.Dance.Don't get reckless with other people's underwear. Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.Pluck your eyebrows.Don't waste your time on jealousy. Some have good breasts, some have good behinds. The race is long, and, in the end, it's only with yourself (and/or your Dominatrix).Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell the butch dyke next to you how.Keep your psych's referral letters. Throw away your endocrinologist's bills.Do yoga.Don't feel guilty if you don't know what to do with your life. The most interesting people I know learned what to do with their life at 22 from a good. They looked at one and weren't sure, then... "An airplane flew into it," she finished for me. "I remember that part." Yeah, and Garp decided to buy the house because it had been pre-disastered. We're kind of like that." Pre-disastered?" Exactly. Look at all the stuff that's happened to us. If we can survive this, we can survive anything." Don't tempt fate," she warned, holding her fingers out in front of her to form a cross."I'm not. I just figure we're pre-disastered. We've had our problems, and now we can go the distance." You make me feel like I'm seventy years old, in my rocking chair on the porch." We'll be seventy all right. But we'll be running our great grand-kids ragged." Great grand-kids, huh?" Yep, Tony the fourth, star quarterback and short stop."What about Tami the fourth?" Super-model." Super-model?" Yep, super-model, just like mom, grandmom, and great grandmom." Tony, you're hopeless." I can see the sports illustrated cover now, Four generations in bikinis. Tami the.
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