”“So get him to help you.”“John?” Fiona rolled her eyes, “his idea of foreplay is two cans of Tennent’s Lager and playing with my breasts.”“Don’t tell me,” I shot back, “the afterglow is the cigarette?”“Something like that,” she sighed, “I left that book out on the bed, along with the massage oil. I didn’t say who it was from, but he just tossed them on the floor and went to sleep.”“So it was all a waste of money?”“I’m sorry,” she wiped her eyes, “God, I shouldn’t be saying this in front of you, but I wish I could do something to save this, I just think it’s high time I ended this sham of a marriage. What does it take to get a man aroused?”“Sexy lingerie?”“Doesn’t work with John,” she pulled a face.“I’ve bought toys and books before, so as he can at least learn there’s more than one way to have sex, but he’s not interested.”“Not interested?” I glanced at her, “in a fine woman such as yourself? I think he’s playing hard to get if you ask me.”“Too hard,” she pouted.“So leave him, find. Inside was an axe of much finer quality than the sword I was holding.“Hmmm,” I mused as I lay my sword down and picked up the axe. It was heavier than the sword, but not by much, and probably made for one hand judging by the short haft. “I wonder if you’re magic,” I asked the weapon as I turned it over. The blade gleamed dully in the faint light from the torches on the walls. Its edge was sharp and unmarred by chips or scratches.With no scrolls of identify on me, I’d need to find one to see what the axe could really do. I searched the nearby bookshelves, rifling through mouldering parchments and decayed tomes before finding two neatly rolled scrolls lying together at the end of a shelf. Grinning, I pulled them down and inspected them. One was covered in blue runes, the other red. If I was right, the blue one was a town portal spell, while the other was an identify. I’m not sure how I activated it, exactly, but after thinking about the axe with the red scroll in my hand, I felt a.
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