‘Coconut.’ ‘I use butter,’ I texted. ‘That would work too,’ Cathy said. ‘But if you’re really good you don’t need to use anything,’ I continued. We kept going back and forth with vaguely veiled food analogies for a while, discussing spices, pie and whip cream and how variety keeps things interesting. ‘Just all this talk of food is making me big,’ I texted. It was but it wasn’t my already slightly pudgy stomach I was really referring too. Something else was getting a bit larger while we continued to chat. ‘Why not chow down?’ asked Cathy. I didn’t respond, not knowing exactly what she meant. The course of the conversation changed for a few minutes as we talked about how sore we were from work and about Cathy’s trips to her massage therapist, her RMT. In one line of text, her phone’s autocorrect feature changed ‘RMT’ to ‘TNT’. ‘Dynamite?’ I texted. ‘Yep, rub it and it explodes.’ This wasn’t at all like me, and I was afraid that I was going to cross some sort of invisible line and not. . Who do I have the pleasure of addressing?"I answered, "Dave."For some strange reason I trusted this fast talking pitch man and whatwas more surprisingly Larry seemed to trust him too. Normally by nowLarry would be kicking him down the drive.The salesman continued his sales pitch. "Better Living Through MagicInc. has the highest customer approval rate of any company that stilluses the door to door business model. We are so confident that ourproducts will change you life we offer a free 30 day trial of your firstpurchase, free returns, and a money back guarantee. May tell you aboutour products?"I looked at Larry and shrugged my shoulders and Larry said, "Oh what thehell have a seat Mr. Ozmix."The salesman sat on the occasional chair and Larry and I sat on each endof the sofa and the strangely likeable man opened his case and pulledout a binder. He looked at the front of the binder I assumed what was aglossary and turned to a page near the middle of the binder.The salesman continued,.
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