The staff were kind to lovers and we were left on our own. We carefully avoided talk of past or future. We were in limbo, both immersed in work, realising just how much we had to do to catch up. We drank enough wine to make us cheerful and I ate enough to make me welcome the walk back to Polly's, holding hands. We'd sat with Polly, Arthur, Barbara and Michael for a while, talking about the little domestic triumphs and disasters of the day.Robert and I had kissed goodnight at the front door, casually, trying not to excite, but the tension underneath had been crackling. The oddest limbo.Barbara had come into my room and talked. She was kind and gentle too. Encouraging me. I'd poured out my heart about Robert and we'd cried together. She was inquisitive about what was in plan for my 'wedding night'. When I told her that there didn't seem to be anything special in plan, she'd looked at me oddly, saying that it didn't sound like Robert to let me down over something like that.And I'd. It only took a few moments for her eyes to grow as wide as saucers. Her facial expression went from one of confusion to shock. She blinked, and began asking one more question."How could you have known unless... unless..." Her voice trailed off. The question was obviously more for herself than for me. I could see that the realization of what had happened between us had hit her. Her face first turned pale, and then a brilliant shade of crimson. Her hand covered her mouth as an expression of total shock. We sat there, wordlessly staring at each other, for minute upon minute. Neither one of us wanted to be the first to break the silence.She stood up holding her cereal bowl, almost robotically, staring straight ahead as she turned and walked toward the kitchen sink."I think we need to talk," I said as the first one to break the silence between us. She didn't respond.I hung my head down where I still sat at the table. I closed my eyes in shame. All I could think was, How could I be so.
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