But I was a born servant and had never been ashamed of that. When the other girls were being accused of being sluts though they weren't, my reputation as a cum dumpster was well deserved! I was submissive to a fault and didn't mind suffering a bit, or a lot, to put a smile on the face of my guy. A masochist some would say and maybe they were right. I didn't care about labels though, I just cared that those who used me came away satisfied.And satisfaction is something Roger had never truly found.Like myself he had learned early in life that he was different. A born dominant with a sadistic streak and a decidedly misogynistic bent he just didn't fit in with the changing times. He liked his girls in high heels all the time. And pants were for men only. Women wear skirts! He liked watching a woman choke on his dick while her hands were tied behind her and feeling her desperately trying to pull away to gasp for air. He liked to mark a bitches ass with his hand, a paddle or a whip finding. ...Then my best friend Dave comes up to me, and he looks ....My heart skips a beat just looking at him.He takes my hand, we dance, and I love the feeling of his strong armsaround me.By the time the dance ends I'm trembling with a feeling I cant put myfinger on.Then he kisses me, and I can name it.I'm in love with him.I want him to hold me, and kiss me, and do things I am not equipped forwith me ....Then I wake up, crying.I dont know what to do about this.I dont know who I can talk to.I know dreams aren't real, but it comes from somewhere, but where?And its not just the dream. Sometimes, I look at myself in the mirror, andI look .... wrong, somehow. I look and I half-expect to see the girl frommy dream looking back at me.And the fact she doesn't is a grief I cant even begin to describe ....I've got to pull myself together, shake this off somehow.I wish I had someone to talk to about this, but who?My dad is a man's man, he's counting on me to follow in his footsteps. Goto collage, be.
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