He couldn’t rid himself of that impression. She hid it cleverly at the meetings and brought it out only when she was with Artie. But after she said those things to him and left him there so abruptly, he wished she had stayed long enough to tell her that he could no longer stand being himself, or at least being his former self before he had suddenly sprouted into his new form. His old self carried with it a punishment so severe that he just couldn’t continue with it. And he at least acknowledged that his new self wasn’t all that perfect either. The human character is always imperfect no matter what form it takes, and it’s more the case that at certain times certain characteristics become emphasized over others, especially when trying to find the near-perfect combination that would ultimately attract a woman like Renee. But it can never be perfect, as even in his newly-formed drug- dealing persona there were traits not to be liked.No matter what changes a man goes through, there will. I don't think there will be a mark on you past tomorrow. So I laid you down and put some lotion on to make you feel better." Lucy had noticed the stinging in her backside felt less sharp than it had been. She pulled herself up and put her head in her hands. She was reeling from what she had just done. She couldn't comprehend her own mind anymore. She let out a sob of desperation."What's wrong my dear. Did I hurt you?" I don't know what to do. I don't know what this means.... What do I do now? What am I?"Valerie cradled Lucy in her arms. "It doesn't have to mean anything. You can walk away and never think about it again if that is what you want."Lucy shook her head. "No I can't. Not after this. It was too..." You have options my dear. You can come to events like this. You can find someone you know that can teach you and train you safely. Or I can refer you to people that can help you."Lucy shook her head again. "No one I know can ever know about this. And I'm scared of anyone else.
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