" You're kidding," said the bartender. "You couldn't lose an eye just from bird crap."And the pirate replied,"It was my first day with the hook."This one is compliments of LarryEver wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants over 100%. How about achieving 103%? Here's a little math that might prove helpful.What makes life 100%?If A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Zis represented as:1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26Then:K N O W L E D G E11 14 15 23 12 5 4 7 5 = 96%H A R D W O R K8 1 18 4 23 15 18 11 = 98%But,A T T I T U D E1 20 20 9 20 21 4 5 = 100%And,B U L L S H I T2 21 12 12 19 8 9 20 = 103%So, it stands to reason that knowledge and hard work will get you close, attitude will get you there, but bullshit will put you over the top.This one is compliments of IgorSix Affairs:The First Affair:A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day, their. Then you have to say, “Don’t even try to touch her. Otherwise, you will have to face my wrath.” But then this huge intimidating guy throws you to his men. They immediately tear your clothes until you are completely naked.”“Naked!” yells Golu.“Yes, naked.” says the director. “You have already shown us yourself. You just have to do that in front of the camera.”At that moment I got scared. But then I calmed myself down. “Male nude scenes are very common these days. Netflix does it.”I continued to listen to the story. The more I heard, the scarier it got. By the time I was done with it, I just wanted to exit the building. I was so disgusted that day to hear his pitch. “That asshole thinks I’ll get naked in front of 50 people. Never!” I cursed while returning home.Yet, the next I remember, I was being disrobed by a costume girl inside a dark abandoned parking lot. There weren’t 50 people there, just twenty, including the actors, director, and producer. It was the shooting day, and I had.
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