It started happily enough, from a point. Transgirl wrestles with herproblem, transgirl comes out, transgirl cause family commotion, transgirlbecomes accepted by family (all except one), transgirl transitions,transgirl becomes accepted at work (all except one), transgirl savesmoney, transgirl gets her dream anatomy, transgirl meets guy, transgirlfalls in love, transgirl marries her man ...They all lived happily ever after - right? Wrong.Transgirl's husband Nick, comes out as trans. That is right - oneevening I find Nick looking very sad and he says to me, "Darling I'msorry, but I have been deceiving you. I am transgender, just like you".I sometimes think that emotions come in pairs - you know: Fear andcontempt, pity and disgust. So, I suppose it was sad sympathy and anger.Sympathy because ... hey, I've been there. Who could understand betterthan me? Anger because ... why didn't you tell me, bitch?A while later I said as much, after I had listened to all the pain. Isaid. ..Stop it!The ferry doesn't go anywhere near the open sea. Here it comes now,breasting the placid surface with almost swanlike grace. The idea that itcould ever get into difficulties is absurd. You take a risk hundreds oftimes greater every time you start your car.All you have to do is find a seat on the covered deck well away from theside, concentrate on your book and the crossing will have ended beforeyou've read a couple of pages. Think of the sense of achievement you'll berevelling in when you arrive at the other side!There's no queue at the ticket office, but I never seem to reach it. Maybeit's the memories that flood through me when I watch the ferry pitch inthe water as it turns to come alongside the landing stage.Thunder and lightning. Waves as high as office blocks. The piercingscreams of terrified children. Tearful couples saying goodbye to oneanother. Grown men fighting over life jackets as the order to abandon shipis relayed over the crackling tannoy. A muscular arm.
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