But the room that was mine was the spare used for guests when the pastor, my father, needed room for those lacking a place to stay or when the church invited guest speakers. The pool was for vespers and church socials in which I had no part. A fact which I’d cemented when I’d made my rather infamous and reputation damaging egress from the church the year before. Despite the hassle I couldn’t help being happy about leaving. It had been a relief to stop pasting practiced smiles on my face and hugging people whose names I knew I would never bother to learn or singing songs so similar you could interchange many of the lyrics without anyone noticing. Lightning flashed across the sky and I waited for the thunder. My blood had stopped flowing so I opened the slit a bit wider and flicked aside the quickly forming scab. The tiny cup was nearly full now and the sting in my finger had subsided into a dull throbbing ache. I wanted to sigh but not enough of the tension had left my body yet and I. Someone else in our work left to go to a job elsewhere and Pauline and I were among the 12 or so who went on their leaving night. In the pub that night, as some people were starting to go home, Pauline asked if she could ask me something. Yeah, I said. She told me she'd always wanted to go to a gay club and would I go with her. Sure I would. We went to a local gay club, Pauline chatted to a few ladies, we danced a bit and drank a bit too.About 2am, Pauline said she was ready to go, which suited me, we left and got a night bus (we lived in roughly the same area). On the bus journey, Pauline told me I could go to her house for a drink and to phone a taxi home. I thought she meant exactly that and really just wanted to get home and said I'd just go straight home, but she asked me again. This time though she leaned in close and whispered something into my ear that changed my mind - 'I've never been licked out before'.Suddenly I didn't feel quite so tired and I agreed.We went into her.
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