I told Sven what I wanted.Thor's report on the accident was worse than I first thought, he had a casualty list of everyone injured and missing and at the top of the list was Antonia's father who had not been found but was known to be down with Antonia at the chamber with the doors. In addition to him, three of our engineers were injured but flown to other hospitals. There were three others missing giving me a total of three injured and four dead. I took it all in and was simply sick to my stomach; I knew them all when Thor gave me their names.Thor did have an answer as to what happened saying the engineers had been working on cutting the hinges of the doors per Antonia's instructions as all of them were interested in what was on the other side of the doors. When the engineers finished cutting the first hinge (they were the welders on the ship) they started on the second hinge but before they could cut through the second hinge, the door gave way with Antonia being struck by the door. Needless to say, I dropped out of track. I loved running, it felt sowonderful just striding along, my legs and arms stretching in a goodrhythm, step after step: breathing in, breathing out; I could losemyself in that, the motion, the movement, just gliding along likethere's no end, hoping there isn't. I didn't bother to show up afterwhat had happened in my first P.E. class. Remember: in the mid-Seventies there was zero tolerance for anyone that resembled anythingeven remotely "homosexual", Stonewall notwithstanding in a little milltown in what was basically the middle of nowhere. As far as I knew,society said 'transsexuals' and 'faggots' were perverts, psychopaths,child molesters, serial killers and outright criminals; look at anydepiction in movies or television from that era of what we today wouldcall gays, lesbians or the transgendered and it's obvious how societyfelt about us then.But that's what I had to live with, whether I wanted it or not. Itdidn't matter whether it was.
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