“It wasn’t a he”, she said, “It was a she”. “Oh my god”, I said, “Are you serious?” “I am”, she said, “Do you wanna know who it was with?” “Ah…Sure”, I said. She put her coke on the ground and took a pillow and put it on her lap. “Okay but if I tell you, you can’t tell anybody, especially anybody we know” “Okay then”, I said, “So spill, who was it?” “Rose”, she said, looking away quickly. “Rose!” I yelled, “I’m friends with Rose but I didn’t even know that you both knew each other”. “Yeah well she slept over at my house the other week because her parents we out of town and we got bored so we decided to kiss and stuff”. I let out a loud shriek of laughter and threw my hands up in the air, “You got bored! Hah! What a lame excuse”. “Shut up!” she yelled, throwing the pillow at me. “So your like a lesbian now”, I said, laughing again. “No”, I just did it to experiment, she said. “Right” I said, taking a sip of my coke. “You’d like it”, she said, looking at me intensely.. She got up, said that is why she loves me, and then kissed me on thecheek so tenderly. I saw the pain in her face for me not saying 'I loveher'; I know that is what it was. I could feel her love for me, atthat moment, I could feel her shame for how she has been treating me;and I could sense that she might be grasping that she has gone too far.It might be too little too late; I did not, and still do not, know whatis going on.I wish I could help her, I wish I knew what that stupid 'lesson' was, Iwish I never had doubts about it. I know wishing is just complaining soI am going to try to help her; I am going to get her to tell me whatthe stupid lesson is, and I will try better not to doubt what she saysto me.She said she was going to lie down and I should take the day off andrelax, maybe even join her in our bed. She said our bed, she did notcorrect it either. I said I couldn't as I needed to do my best for myperformance tonight for her and anyway I cannot join her in her bedwithout her.
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