Id noticed how their builder, a rough, tough Irishman whose brawn far outweighed his brain, looked at Kelly. My sweet young wife acted the innocent, but I knew. Well I was nothing if not the open sort and, to be perfectly honest, secretly the premise thrilled me to bits, so much so that I was moved to confront her once evening. Look, its all right, I conceded, just as long as you promise me three things. Kelly protested, maintaining that she only wanted me, though when she asked what those three conditions were, I knew. Okay, I revealed. Make sure you use protection, promise me please not to fall in love and…and tell me all about it when I get home from school. Every detail. There was a glint in my eye and a bulge in my pants, the likes of which we hadnt seen in a long time. Kelly nodded understandingly if unsurely. But how do I…? she enquired with a patented wide-eyed look of innocence and trying desperately not to sound too enthusiastic. Oh, use your imagination, I teased,. I wanted Maxie more and more, and that scared me. He was completely beautiful, undeniably gorgeous, and wanting to look at him and touch him occupied most of my waking thoughts. My subconscious had other ideas. If I looked at the inside of my head I had to admit I was damaged, possibly beyond all repair. I had been raped, then refused to talk about it, tried to kill myself and then refused to talk about that. Now I either imagined Maxie's face on the man who had raped me, or I dreamed him dead. Dead and bleeding, beaten and bruised, and always beautiful. The inside of my mind scared me.Sunday night Maxie and I lay down on opposite sides of the wall to talk about our plan for Monday."What did you do?" I traced circles and spirals around the hole in the wall while I spoke, imagining that Maxie's skin had the same cool, smooth-rough texture."I didn't really. I told Toman and Mina and just sort of let it be known. I didn't flirt with girls and when people asked me I told them the truth..
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