Peter - “How did you come up with that answer Forrest?” Forrest “Well, there’s January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd...”, and St. Peter interrupts “Well, yes, again, not the answer I was expecting, but correct in its own way.” “Final question Forrest. What is the first name of God?” Forrest immediately speaks up, “Why that is easy St Peter, it is Andy!” St Peter replies “Why do you think it is Andy, Forrest?” “From the hymn St. Peter, ‘Andy walks with me, Andy talks with me” said Forrest in a sing-song voice. St. Peter stares at him for a minute, then opens the gate “Run, Forrest, Run”For nurses -What is the difference between a nurse and a toilet seat? A toilet seat only has to face one asshole at a time!What is long and black and hangs around an asshole? A stethoscope!This one is compliments of AttilaA brand new automation technology has been announced.It’s so advanced and effective, that from now on, only a pilot and a dog will be required in all aircraft.The pilot will be there to. "Don't want to seem creepy, that will ruin my chances. Oh god that was probably creepy, it's over. I'll spend the festival alone." I panic.Before my train of though finish I notice she's standing over me. "Hey, are you going to the festival too? I'm Jenny by the way. We'd like a man we know so we don't get harassed at the camping area. Why don't you sit next to us and we can plan where we'll raise our tents together", she smirks. "Yeah..." is all I'm able to respond with."Seems like you already raised your tent, hihihi", she looks at my groin. SHE KNOWS. "I'll give you a minute to calm down then you can sit next to me, there's an empty seat". After that she turns around and finds her seat again, looking back with that smirk.While I wait for my obvious boner to cool off there's a bit of turbulence. Then a bit more. It's normal, "turbulence happens on airplanes" I think to yourself. This distraction is just what I needed too, I get up and start making my way to her, there's another big.
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