A few mins after the garage door opens. My milk mommy emerges with the baby wrapped up in a stroller. No other kid and only her car in the garage. She has tight spandex pants on and sneakers and a sweater covering her massive mammaries. As she walks by she tells the baby, daddy will be home tonight. She walks down the driveway and the garage door stays open.My heart is pounding. I look around and she must have gone to the bus stop. Quickly I grab my fun bag and run into the garage. I hide by her car but she might see me. I try the door into the house. It’s not locked but is there an alarm on? If it goes off I’ll run to the woods and up to the back behind her house. The door opens and not a sound. I hurry inside to find a place to hide.I run upstairs and quickly find 3 bedrooms. There is one that appears to be a guest room. I look in the closet and it seems like the place to hide. I go back downstairs to check the fridge to see if she has bottles for the baby. I still don’t know if. My mother ... again.I was older, but still of indeterminate age. Her face flashed into my mind. She was dressed for an outing, waiting at the front door for my father to pick her up and take her out. There was a tendril of memory, floating at the back of my mind, of a babysitter and my unhappiness at having this particular sitter stay with me.The still picture of my mother was engraved into my memory, because, instead of my father come to pick her up, there were two police officers and a clergyman. There words were far too soft for my little ears, and the baby sitter scooped me up and ran from the room, lest I hear and understand.Later...Was it years, later? Decades, maybe.There is no time when you're dead. Only now, forever...Another flash of memory.My mother, weeping at the kitchen sink, was holding a sheaf of medical papers in her hand. She stared at the papers as if they were a palpable enemy that she could rend, tear, or kill. Her tears were hard and angry – but soft, and almost.
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