" It might not seem like it today, but those were more innocent times;and back then that book was considered very daring---even dangerous---for the way it thumbed its nose at all the values of Hatterian society.It was certainly nothing that a young princess should be reading! And Iwas such a wooly-headed naif in those days that it did have anunwholesome effect on me. Fueling my fantasies, my dreams of escapingfrom the ordinary---from the 'oppression' of all this comfort andsecurity and belonging---into something that never actually existed.There were a lot of young mers flocking to the big cities over inMidlantica in a quest for some sort of perfect freedom; Where all theyfound was squalor, hunger, crime, exploitation and moral dissolution. Alife of playing all day, which seems to work for real dolphins, justdoesn't for us..."And I might have actually joined them; throwing away everything I had;this life, my title, my duties to go try and live out some bohemianpipe-dream. But instead. No pleasure in that. But what if you showed her pleasure anyways. Treat her like you treat me. What if your love was rekindled. What if she just needed to feel your love like I did?Always my fantasies wind up in a dark spot. Leaving me aching and wanting you near. Hear you say all the lovely words that I want to hear. But I can’t. We can’t. There are bigger issues and I cannot possibly be that selfish. But a girl can dream.And dream I do. Story after story can pour out of me. Thoughts constantly racing. New places, same people. Same indescribable feelings pouring to the surface. Our souls longing for each other. Leaving us both restless and sentimental. And hot.The kind of hot that makes me stop driving and pull over into secluded areas and touch myself thinking of you. Parking lots. Nature preserves. Wanting you here and there. Wanting to feel you everywhere. Why do we torture ourselves so much? With dreams. And daydreams. Because love. Love is the reason I both hate you and love.
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