He needed to enjoy what he had before him instead of lusting over what he didn’t have and would never have. He needed to focus his love on Lorraine and on his newborn, baby daughter. How dare he even think of another woman at a time like this? Yet, he did. Something not to be, deep down in the pit of his stomach, he felt empty. He felt hungry. He felt incomplete without having Emma in his life. He felt cheated. Instead of feeling happy on what should have been the second happiest day of his life, he felt sad. Yet, if he was counting the happiest days of his life, getting married to Lorraine and her giving birth to their daughter would pale in comparison to the day that he met and had sex with Emma. Why wasn’t she in his life? Why wasn’t he with her? As if God played a joke on him, why was he with Lorraine instead of with Emma, the love of his life? After finally finding her, how so very tragic for him to lose her? How so very tragic to suffer through life not only married to the. The idea of him fucking me was gone and Ididn't quite know what to do. I laid down on the bed, putting my head onthe pillow.Fred, rubbed my shoulder a little bit and without really realizing it, Iwas sucking my thumb like a child.I must have fallen asleep, because the next thing I knew, it was 6:00am.I was still in my maids dress and Fred was gone. Confused as to whathappened last night I decided to forget about it and face the day ahead.I undressed, showered, shaved, and put my maids dress back on. By thistime it was 6:30am and I headed to the kitchen to start breakfast. Sincethis was our last day, the guys tee time was 7:50am at a course that wasonly a few moments away. Fred had left me a note that read:Good morning Stephanie,We will only have time for coffee and toast or bagels this morning.Please have them ready by 7:00am with the table set. We need be out ofthe house by 11:00 am so have the house clean and our bags packed andready to go by 10:30. We will stop by and pick you up.
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