Not sure what I'll do that second week.When did it change from "We the people" to "screw the people"?Even duct tape can't fix stupid ... but it can muffle the sound!Why do I have to press one for English when you're just gonna transfer me to someone I can't understand anyway?Of course I talk to myself, sometimes I need expert advice.Oops! Did I roll my eyes out loud?At my age "Getting lucky" means walking into a room and remembering what I came in there for.Chocolate comes from cocoa which is a tree ... that makes it a plant which means ... chocolate is Salad!!!And, of course ... Have I sent this to you already ... or did you send this to me?This is compliments of DorsetmikeDaddy daddy, why do I keep walking in circles?????Shaddup else I'll nail yer other foot to the floorDaddy daddy can I go and play with the other kids??? Shaddup and deal!Daddy daddy can I play with grandma????? Nah, you dug her up 3 times already!'This one is compliments of JZD'THE VIRGIN HONEYMOONOlaf Swenson,. “Let me get this straight,” said Mum. “You’re going to the prom as Cayenne’s paid escort.”“Well, I still have to pay for my own prom ticket, but I’d put it more like subsidised escort rather than paid,” I said.Mum resumed eating, but the vicious way she was chewing each mouthful showed she wasn’t a happy bunny.“This Cayenne Proctor, what is she like?” asked Dad.“She’s absolutely drop-dead gorgeous,” said Terri. “Every girl in school wishes they had her looks.”“There’s more to a person than looks,” I replied, hopefully hinting successfully that Cayenne’s personality wasn’t quite so beautiful. “Besides, I prefer you looking just the way you are.”Terri half-smiled at that. She probably thought I was just saying that to make her feel better.“I must say I’m very disappointed in you, Kevin,” Mum pronounced. “Prom is supposed to be special and you’re supposed to share it with someone you care about.”“It doesn’t work that way when you’re a nerd, Mum,” I countered. “Michael was asked by a girl.
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