I got… oh fuck it, I got scared.’ Ellen forced the tears back down. She imagined herself grabbing those slippery little fucks and forcing them back into their ducts. She wouldn’t cry over Mark. She had suspected it, and now she knew it. She was angry at Henry for his silence, but the haunted look in his beautiful blue eyes sucked the fire from her anger. She squeezed his hand and tried to smile. She said, ‘It’s not your fault.’ ‘Ellen,’ he hesitated, ‘It’s not just one woman.’ ‘What?’ ‘He told me that he has been fooling around on you now for awhile,’ he confessed and recalled the incident in office the day after he had heard Mark fucking a student, ‘He’s been seeing as many as three women on the side. But fifteen affairs all together in the last few years.’ ‘Oh my God,’ Ellen’s face went limp with shock, her jaw open and eyes wide. The blood drained from her face as she processed his words. She could only say, ‘Oh my God.’ ‘I’m so sorry,’ Henry offered. He was sorry. He was a sorry. ”“All the time, just after my fucking horse. Piss off.”Mounting Sugar, I galloped him into the outback. Our slowest journey to the spring, I guess he knew when my co-pilot eyes were on the blink.Sitting by the water, raging at my stupidity for thinking two months together had made Sarah and me friends, I noticed a red dust cloud. Sarah, I presumed, which gave me pause for thought as her father had forbidden her to ride Bella in the outback for fear of injury.Having tied Bella to the redgum tree next to Sugar, she sat beside me. For ages we stared at our reflections in the water, as silent as church mice.“I just told dad if he does that again I will give up riding.”“Drama queen.”I so wasn’t letting her off the hook, petulantly refusing to break the silence that followed.“Why do you ride, Annie?”“Oh, for fuck sake, Sarah. You know how alive it feels on the edge of control.”“I’d give anything to be like that again.”“Fuck off, you still can’t have Sugar.”“Idiot. I really don’t want.
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